I sit here faced with a moral dilemma. I have always, and continue to pride myself on fighting the good fight against pretention, self-indulgence and unfounded delusions of grandeur.
Having spent three years at a well known university before embarking on a career in the city I have been exposed to more than my fair share of these aforementioned pet hates. From spending my days walking past numerous “Tarquins” dressed in sub fusc as they quaff Lanson straight from the bottle I graduated into a world where everyone (ranging from these same “Tarquins” to budding “Sir-Alans”) resorts to mutual dog eating in order to receive recognition for their very own brand of pompous.
Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely fortunate to have fluked my way into and through higher education and then into a job that allowed me to survive a fairly chunky recession without adding to the unemployed statistics. I would not change a moment of my time so far and have numerous happy memories and no doubt many more which I have forgotten.
I have, however, made it my mission to never overestimate my own importance.
Herein lies my dilemma. Pretention, self-indulgence, pomposity – blogging absolutely ticks every one of these boxes and provides a side order of narcissism to boot. However, I am at an age where I know I will want to remember what I will soon forget and would like an opportunity to write in English rather than the bastardised version that is liberally spattered across PowerPoint slides.
As such, the only way I can see to both achieve this goal and evade hypocrisy is through a chunky disclaimer. This page is written by me, for me. Others are more than welcome to read it, but I don’t expect you to. If you do, I do not expect you to enjoy it nor do I expect even the slightest thing in the world to change as a result of you doing so. In fact, I apologise for wasting your time if you have read this far. But no, you don’t get those 2 minutes back.
My friends and my fianceé and would no doubt place me on a sliding scale somewhere between lazy and bone idle. In many cases I would argue that it is efficiency rather than apathy - doing the minimum needed to get a good result - but in other cases I would have to agree.
I no doubt expect the theme of lethargy to run throughout any future posts I can be bothered to make here, or at least be reflected in the infrequent nature of postings. I would also not be surprised if “decnunciatory or abusive discourse” (such as that directed at my imaginary friend Tarquin) were to appear more than once in the future.
Based on all this, “Lethargic Invective” seems like a sufficiently pretentious title for these ramblings.
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